author of Married With Zombies

Film Friday: Ozone

0 comments

by Jesse on Friday, September 03, 2010

Summary: Cops Eddie and Mike get caught up in a trap by a drug dealer. But when both of them are injected with a new drug, Ozone, they find out these dealers are selling more than a high.

What I Liked: As my husband said after we watched this, one thing to like in this movie is a “flagrant use of fedoras”. This is supposed to be sort of a detective/zombie movie, so I guess they were going for a film noir thing with the fedoras. And that was cuteish. There’s a fight scene that is super dark (so it might have been cool if I could see it) but the fight involves axe handles with saw blades attached. I liked that. Weapons are some of my favorite things in zombie flicks. Also, I liked the idea that someone would invent a drug that made people into zombies and the cops that get involved.

What I Didn’t Like: Well, it’s not really a zombie movie. The “zombies” maintain a lot of upper brain function and can talk and use weapons and stuff. They don’t try to eat anyone else. And they’re a lot more like demons than zombies. So it’s a demon movie that classifies itself as a zombie movie. Also, there just isn’t a lot of acting/emoting going on. The main character, Eddie, is a cop who never seems to be inspired to stop crime. He never seems scared or grossed out or freaked out. Just kind of… confused.

All in all, meh. It’s streaming for free at Netflix and if you have nothing better to do, I guess it’s better than cleaning the cat box.

It’s Release Day! And YOU can win.

1 comment

by Jesse on Wednesday, September 01, 2010

Holy Hannah!

It’s here! It’s finally here! I can hardly believe it that after all these months and all the great pre-press from Orbit and reviews from you that MARRIED WITH ZOMBIES is officially on the shelves. I hope if you go looking for it that you’ll ask for it if it’s not on the shelves at your bookstore. And I’d love it if you posted a review on Amazon, Goodreads, Barnes and Noble or any of your own blogs. Buzz me and I’ll love you forever!

To prove it, I’m also holding a contest for you! Here is how it will work:

I want pictures of you with MARRIED WITH ZOMBIES! They can be funny, they can be scary, they can even just be of your holding it in the bookstore! I just want to see that book with real readers! You can send the pictures to me at zombiegirl@jessepetersen.net or if you’re a fan on Facebook, you can upload the pictures right to my Fan Page (but only do one of those two things, don’t send it twice). I’ll collect all of them from today, September 1 until September 30and then ZombieBoy and I will look at them all and pick THREE winners.

1. The funniest picture.
2. The scariest picture.
3. A random winner drawn from all the pictures.

What will you win? An advanced bound galley of FLIP THIS ZOMBIE directly from Orbit! So you’ll get to read the second book in the “Living With the Dead” series before it hits shelves!  Which is pretty cool (at least for me).

So go out, find the book, buy it, hopefuly love it and then send me your best photo for the MARRIED WITH ZOMBIES contest!

Hello from the road!

1 comment

by Jesse on Monday, August 30, 2010

Hello my zombie minions!

Well, we’re on the last couple of days before the official release of MARRIED WITH ZOMBIES (though many of you have reported you’ve already found the book in stores, hope you are loving it!!). But am I home hitting refresh on Amazon every five minutes and Googling myself and the book like I normally do when I have a book out?

The amazing answer is… no! And that’s a good thing.

Right now I’m in Tucson, AZ visiting my nephews! LittleZombie 1 is 2 and a half and the cutest thing ever. Little Zombie 2 was just born a couple weeks ago and may be the smartest, best baby in the history of mankind. Not that I’m biased or anything.

Of course this doesn’t mean I’m not thinking about the book or zombies or all of you potential readers out there. Every once in a while I’m playing in the pool with LZ1 and I want to scream out, “Zombie!” But I don’t because he’s little and it would scare him. Or I’ll be laying in bed at night and wondering if you’ll all be rushing out to buy the book.

I do plan on stopping by some local stores and signing any stock they may have, so if you live in the local area, do a check at your nearby stores in the next week or so and you could get an autographed copy! And if you see a redhead with two little kids in tow, staring at the fantasy section of the bookstore and screaming, “Zombie!”… well, come say hi. I could probably use the support. :)

Film Friday: Shaun of the Dead

0 comments

by Jesse on Friday, August 27, 2010

Every Friday I will be reviewing a zombie movie! I’ll tell you what I liked and what I didn’t and also try to let you know where you can see these flicks (since some are going to be a little obscure). Today I’d like to start off with one of my very favorite zombie movies, “Shaun of the Dead”.

The summary: Loveable loser Shaun is not having a great life. He works a crap job, his girlfriend just dumped him and his idea of a good time is hanging out with sometimes drug-dealer best friend Ed at a pub called The Winchester. And then one day he wakes up to find that zombies have taken over London. He comes up with a rather half-assed plan to save his Mom, get the girl and change his life. Now if only they had more than crisps at The Winchester…

What I Liked: Um, EVERYTHING. “Shaun of the Dead” takes the awesome genre of zombie horror, adds a healthy handful of humor and rocks my little world to pieces. I love that Shaun is basically living as a zombie before the outbreak. I love that he and Ed try to kill zombies by throwing records at them. I love Shaun’s escalating plans to save his Mum and get his girl back. And I love that there are moments of true emotion mixed in with the hilarity and chaos. The best zombie movies recognize that in the midst of horror (and even humor) there must be pain and sadness. I adore “Shaun of the Dead” and Simon Pegg (who plays Shaun with bumbling and oh-so-very-British perfection).

What I Didn’t Like: Honestly, there is not anyting I didn’t like about this movie. Even the stupid things Shaun and his friends do make perfect sense considering the situation and the characters they are established to be at the beginning of the movie.

If you haven’t seen it (is there anyone who hasn’t seen it??) go out and rent it today! It’s available on DVD, Blu-ray and via Netflix.

Agree with my review? Have anything to add? Comment!!

 

 

Ask Dr. Jesse Wednesday!

0 comments

by Jesse on Wednesday, August 25, 2010

Dr. Jesse is in the house! Never fear. And I actually have a zombie apocalypse-related relationship question. This one is from Bridget:

Is it wrong to fake a gun jam and let your mate get eaten by flesh craving zombies if he annoys me too much or I meet a cuter survivor?

Now Bridget, there is one thing to remember in any relationship… everyone is annoying. Seriously, I’m sure your partner sometimes looks at you and thinks, “If she wasn’t brandishing that shotgun…” Sure, your guy might leave his socks on the floor or never clean the blood off his bat or always leaves you with the juiciest zombies even though he knows you hate sludge, but I’m sure he also has good qualities that attracted you in the first place. Ask yourself these questions:

  • Can you depend on him? When you’re surrounded by zombies, does he show up, guns blazing? It’s hard to find someone who’ll take out the trash, let alone kill masses of the walking dead for you.
  • Is he a good planner? Never underestimate the value of someone who always grabs drygood and ammo when you stop along the road during an apocalypse. Or can find a way out of an abandoned warehouse filled with rabid zombie dogs.
  • Does he appreicate your skills? He might not always say it, but you should know that he respects your abilities.

If you answered yes to any of these questions, then your apocalyptic relationship may just be worth saving. If not… well, then let that bitch die and go for Hottie McShotgun.

Have a zombie apocalypse relationship question for Dr. Jesse? Ask if here in comments, at twitter @jessepet or by emailing zombiegirl@jessepetersen.net

What Makes a Zombie?

2 comments

by Jesse on Monday, August 23, 2010

The other day my husband and I were talking about zombies. Yeah, I know, big fucking shock. I’m sure if you hang around at this site for more than a day, you’ll start to see this is a pattern for me. We talk zombies quite a bit. That’s why he’s awesome (among other reasons).

Anyway, so we were talking about zombies and somehow ZombieBoy (which is henceforth how I will refer to him in blogs or ZB) ended up saying, “Well, it all depends on how you define a zombie.”

Wow, what a concept! I mean, what makes a zombie? So here’s what I came up with:

1. They’re dead. In some movies they rise from the grave, in others once a zombie kills them, they become a zombie. But dead is pretty much a constant. Except when it’s not.

2. They want your brains. Also your flesh. Bones. Whatever they can chew, really. And they don’t seem to be able to get enough, either. They could eat twenty people and still go after you if you happen to wander in. Which is why they’re different from other monsters who might just want to kill or destroy you. You are the zombie food supply.

3. They’re gross. Because the basic zombie is dead, they also rot. Which is both yucky and awesome. Their arms are falling off, their cheeks have holes in them, they smell and they’re sticky. Plus lots of them vomit sludge and have rotten blood all over them. See what I mean? GROSS.

4. They can’t and won’t stop. Vampires are a thinking monster. They have a choice in who they pursue and who they don’t. Werewolves are out of control when they turn, but without the full moon they’re normal. But zombies don’t have those abilities. They can’t stop. They can’t even WANT to think. And as far as not stopping go, they are the champs. You can blow their legs off and they’ll drag themselves toward you, still trying to get you. You can point a gun at their head and they won’t chill out. They don’t have a game plan except to just chase you until you fall down.

5. You can only kill them by destroying the head. I guess this is partly related to number four. You can hurt a zombie in a thousand ways, but until you disconnect their head from their body or blow their skull into a thousand smithereens, they are still going to come after you. They have a weakness, but it’s a very specific one.

So what do you think? What makes a zombie for you? And what variations on the zombie theme have you really loved?

My Big, Fat Zombie Wedding

3 comments

by Jesse on Friday, August 20, 2010

I am married. I’ve actually been married for almost 14 years (since I was 9, thank you very much), but we were married in a very small ceremony and for several years I have toyed with the thought of maybe doing a vow renewal. I guess my friends know this (they have theories about whether I’m ACTUALLY married, but that’s another story) and lately everyone has been sending me helpful tips on the kind of wedding I should plan if I were to plan on now. So, I now present to you everything YOU would need to plan your own Big Fat Zombie Wedding (also a Big Fat Zombie Vowel Renewal):

The invitations:

It sets the tone and lets your humorless Aunt Helen start complaining about your lack of reverence from the moment she receives your invite. Maybe she’ll just send a card with her regrets… If not, eat her brains.

Location: Zombie Walk (any town USA)

Why a zombie walk? Well, they’re cool, there will be plenty of zombies to walk you down the aisle and even perform your ceremony. This image is from the Seattle PI’s coverage of the recent record-breaking zombie walk in the Fremont District of Seattle.

The Gown:
One of the easier parts of your zombie wedding ceremony. Take wedding gown, add blood, sludge and braaaaaains.

The reception:

We all know a wedding reception is really about the food. So make sure you have a zombie wedding cake and maybe some zombie jello for the kids.

So would you have a zombie wedding? And did I miss anything?

Ask Dr. Jesse*

2 comments

by Jesse on Thursday, August 19, 2010

So since it became public knowledge that I had written a book about how a couple escaped the zombie apocalypse using marital advice, I’ve had numerous couples asking me, “How do I make MY marriage zombie proof?” **

I’ve come to realize that I may have valuable advice to offer, advice that could save a marriage and maybe even save a life. So I’m going to declare Wednesdays Ask Dr. Jesse* days.  Ask me your zombie marriage questions and I’ll be happy to try to give my advice on those sticky “We’re in a Zombie Apocalypse, but we’re just not seeing eye-to-eye” quandries that hit every couple at some point.

As here, ask on Twitter (with hashtag #zombietherapy) or ask on Facebook. I’m here to help. Or kill you with a shotgun if you’re already bitten.

*Jesse is not a doctor, nor is she qualified in any way.
**Actually, this is not true.

Prepare for MARRIED WITH ZOMBIES with this informational video.

0 comments

by Jesse on Tuesday, August 17, 2010

This video really gives a good base for zombie survival. Though… it doesn’t seem to end too well…

Zombies in Plain English

The Secret Language of Zombies

1 comment

by Jesse on Monday, August 16, 2010

So you all love zombies (at least, I assume you do if you’re coming here and aren’t… like… my Mom who only likes zombies, but not like-likes them). And I love zombies (duh, writing zombie books). And I was thinking the other day about how the zombie-verse sort of has it’s own language. I guess that’s true in all “verses”. Vampires have their… sparkles or whatever. Werewolves must have some kind of language for their followers. Even Harry Potter has a thing going.

But I’m going to just come out and say, I think the language of zombies is the most fun.

Exhibit A: Fast-movers versus slow-movers. We all know what the difference is. In fact, you sit down with a group of zombie-lovers and you can have a three-hour debate on this topic alone. But what other genre can have that debate on a two-word phrase? Um, us becuase we are cool.

Exhibit B: Brains. Okay, we all know that what we really mean is brrrraaaaaains. BRAAAAAAINS!! Say that in a sort of moany voice and any zombie lover will immediate turn and smile at you. It’s like our own zombie calling card.

Exhibit C: Anything that starts with “Z”. Honestly, you can call zombies “Zed”, “Zero”, “Z”, “Zoro” and any other combination of any sound that starts with Z. We have our own letter, people. Z as in Zombie. We’re like Cookie Monster (C is for Cookie) only cooler and without the eating disorder.

Exhibit D: Zombie Walk. This new addition to the Zombie-verse is sweeping the country. Even my little town had a zombie walk a few months ago. It’s a recruitment tactic to our cause. Come on over, dress up like the undead… you know you want to. Do they have serial killer walks? No. I didn’t think so.

There are tons more, and I know you have opinions. So what is YOUR favorite vocabulary addition from the zombie-verse?